donderdag 22 maart 2018

2.2 - Expanding Territories


Previously on Confessions of a Queenaholic we saw how Da Preenshe was making his first steps in the professional world, while Da Kween was making her final steps in the lovely world of her LTW. Will Da Preenshe make another promotion? Or will he just be stuck doing the dishes tonight? Will Da Kween finally hit the 10 ex mark to fulfill her LTW? And how about Hailey? Isn't her birthday towards adulthood tonight?





"Awww gewd mawrneeng thure."

Good morning Lady Da Kween Uglington!

"Hellow dere."



"Aimma meeck meh bewd fursht, sho thet eet lewksh niet."

Always stick to your true self Kweenie.

"Ai shertenlie trai moi besht."

That's the spirit.



"Ai shewld trai an get Dyeek awn a deet."

Good idea. Immediately go on where you previously left off.



"Hiya Dyayke, whannah gew awt shumwher weeth moi? Yesh, Aill miet yoe at.. da keffay een da wewdsh, owkai?"



While Da Kween is on her way, Da Preenshe has started off practising his painting again. The extra money could never hurt too much right?




Meanwhile at the café.

"Yewth dieshe daysh.. whai nawt trai riedeeng a bewk?"

I thought you said you weren't a big reader yesterday?

"..."



"I feel so betrayed in love..."
"Hiya dere Dyake!"
"Oh.. hello there."



"I've been through soo much drama last night! My girlfriend broke up with me! Waaah!"
"Aww thet shucksh."
"Much more than that."



"Whew needsh det beetsh fawr a gurwlfrend, whan yew gawt shoo mutsh bettur awpshunsh?"
"Errr..."
"Teek meh fawr ekshempel, Aim laik shoo mutsh prittiur dan a rawshe bewkay cewld evur bie."
"... Whatever."



That didn't go so smooth for once..

"Whell.. kaynda?"
"Too bad."
"Still a little sore after her son broke up with me.."



I guess it's time for the hard measures!

"VEWDEW PAAAWURRRRRRR!!!!"
"Whut what?"
"WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHRR!!"



"Screw this, I'm outta here.."
"Whoashiesh...."

That was just one big failure..

"Tew bed.. Thet weshnt a rewshe buqay, mawre laik a sheengle weethereeng rayshe."



"Lesh gew beck eento tawn tew faynd shumwan elshe."

Good idea.



"Ai theenk.. thish peenting feewlsh dawn."

You sure?... Nah, better pick up your phone first.



Next stop for our favourite Royaltee: ye goode olde dance academy.



And it looks like she's found new prey..

"I got promoted but I still don't feel happy."



"Aww cum awn, eetsh nawt laik da wurld weel ewnd tewdee, raight?"
"It might be."

Clearly a halfempty glass-type. Time to fill it up with some of Da Kween's specialness!



While Da Preenshe is making some of his own specialties!

"Lewking gewd hier."



"Walla, eet'sh greeled tyeeshe."

All for you. I don't like cheese, sorry.

"Aww, riellie? Shayme."



"Well, you see.. I had a lover.. and she passed away a few days ago."
"Whew wash eet?"
"Gabriella Ornales."
"Oi, shie wash a frwend awf mayne tew.. Ai meesh hur esh whell..."



"Really.. Woe is us..."
"Yew gawdda mewve awn fram da pesht do.. Dere eesh a fewtyurre laiyeeng awt dere fawr yoe tew ekshplawre."
"Hmm, you're right.. with whom though?"



"Haw abawt dhiesh?"
"Mwwwah."



".. I.. kinda liked that.."
"Yush, yew nied a shunnie awtloek  fewr yoer fuwtyuur."



"Haw abowt weeth meh?"
"Well... I guess it could work?"
"Shuwre."



"Mwwwah."
"Mwwwah."

I'm starting to feel really bad for him to what'll be coming next....



"Aim shawrrie buwt Ai hawve tew briek uwp weeth yew raight naw!"
"---.... what??? Why?!?!"



"Aim hungrewy."
"....."
"..... SHEKKA BRAWL!!"
".. Shaka broh!"



"... Ai guessh wie cewld shteel hawve a fewtyur ash freendsh?"
".. Sounds fine to me."

Well.. that still worked out in the end. Yay.



Meanwhile Da Preenshe went off for work again. Which means Da Kween will have my full attention again. The next couple of days will be different, for it'll be his precious days off...



And while we zoom by this mourning ma'am - apparantly Hector has died too. And yet she's already engaged to someone else I've heard...



... We see Da Kween stumbling upon Jake again. Maybe this round we'll gather him on the tally?



"Screw this, I'm outta here."
"Whatshiesh?"

... Nope.



"Ohh, hello there, how're you doing?"
"Aw, Dyennevief, hai... Aim kayndeh hungree shteel."
".. We could go and have lunch in town."



"Shawndsh gewd tow mie."
"Let's go then!"
"Wie've bien tew da beeshtraw yeshturdee, lesh gew fawr shneckshiehs eenshteed?"



"Sounds fine to me."



While both Royaltee members are out in eating establishments, let's take a look at this... interesting car! It looks... nice, right?



"Aww shiepsh, lewksh laik Dyannevyev gewt beckdawred..."



"... end whai da hewl eesh shie rawneeng bewck da fenshe?"

I'd like to ask you that, you've done it in the past.

"..."



"Whai aar wie walkeeng tew da fayur shteeshun?"

Oh, I've realised a lonely soul in there might be in need of your warm passion and love..

"Whew eesh iet diesh taym arawnd?"



"Oh hey, my name is Star Shue, welcome to the fire station! Company, at last!!"
"Aim Da Kween... shiesh a wimun dough."

She falls for women though. So it'll work I guess.

"Hmmkay. Eetsh newver tew layt tew ekshperimunt."



"I'm a Libra, how about you?"
"Law awn enurdyie- Ai mien, Shaggeetawriyush"
"Oh coolio, we match!"



"Naw wie whewld meek a griet cawpel.."
"Hmm, maybe we would.."



"I mean, you got the green hair, I got the green skin, who knows?"
"Yayshiesh."



"I gotta have to eat something first though.."
".. aww, riellie?"

Way to ruin the mood.


"Ai maight esh whull yeshe da toylet naw."

Good idea, then your natural urges won't interrupt the romance either.



"Ah, there you are.. Where were we?"



About to show Da Preenshe leaving his job, that's where we were.



"Aww, hugglesh!"
"Aaaahh."



"Oioioi, diesh eesh shoo mutsh fuwn."
"Ahuh..."

Trying to be sultry by showing off your leg like that?



"Mmmmwwwah!"
"Mmmmhhhmhhhhh..."



"Lesh ektuwallie bie a cappel tewgedder laik yew jusht eemplaid."
"Oooh.. Yes."



"Kay. Naw wie cen briek uwp sho dat Ai cen rietsh moi ElTeeDabbelyoe."
"--waitwhatyou're a Heartbreaker?"
"Yusshir!"

At least you're straight about your intentions now.



"And naw Aimma ruwn aweey far da heelsh. Baye!"
"......... what the actual fuck just happened?"



"Pfffft, faynelly getteeng hame."

Tough day at the job?



"Kaynda.. Ai gawt promowtied-"

- Congrats-

"- buwt Ai hawve tew doe da deeshes at howm."



At least you have a dishwasher, that makes things much easier for you. How many?

"Vaif, fewr feckerew'sh shake!"

That's not too bad right?



"... Nowt sho bed indied. Aim dawn awlreddie."

Just in time, look who'se coming home there?

"Aaah, haw griet! Eet'sh Mummy Kween!"



"Aimma raight awf tew shleep raight awee!"

... Is that your cellphone?

"Aww fewr gawdsh sheek."



"Awkee awkee, peecking eet uwp alreddie."

Good.



"Diesh eesh meh voishemeel, yew knaw da dreell. BIIIEEEEP!!!!!!"

Bwahahah, I once had a teacher who did that. And my cousin's wife once had that as a voicemail.

"Aim taiyurd."



"Yew knaw whow Ai hefun't sheen far a whayle? Kawle. Ai shewld teksht heem."

As long as you go to bad after doing that, young man, it's late and you probably want to visit Hailey tomorrow.

"Aaww, raight, shie'sh awll grawn uwp raight?"

Yup. So get sleeping.



Aww, look how lovely and peaceful they're sleeping together.. I should buy them a new bed though once Hailey gets married into the family.

Speaking of family, shouldn't Da Kween's LTW have triggered by now? 8 plus Dennis plus Star makes 10 right?..



"Whut, meh ElTeeDawbulyaw deednt fuwlfeel?"

It says you're at 9.. Looks like you have yet to hunt tomorrow...

"Aw, feckeroo.. And da phawnsh reengeeng tew."

You can ignore this one.



"Kaiy, gew naight!"

Good night!

Sooo, just 1 more guy and Da Kween's finally done it. It was a long journey, but finally about to end! Who will be ex number 10 though? Jake? That coworker of Da Preenshe? Or maybe Nicholas? He never dated her officially, so he didn't count for the tally? And how will Da Preenshe and Hailey's reunion go? Good, bad, or ugly? We'll figure that out later. BYE!